So, today is the last day in the celebration madness that is early June (thank goodness – I can eat no more cake!). Today is our third wedding anniversary.
Wedding days are great, aren’t they? All that planning is finally over, and it’s just time to enjoy it. Aside from the issues of super-knickers (the type that knock you down a few sizes – as well as cutting off circulation..) and stupid shoes (ok, I admit that anything higer than flip-flops is too high for me), the day involves parties, good friends, and the chance to make a commitment to the love of your life. I dont know about anyone else, but my wedding left me on cloud 9. Well, we’ll forget the part where I forgot to pack an asthma inhalor and promptly had the first asthma attack in several years…
And of course, in the last 3 years, it hasn’t always been like that (perfect, I mean. There have been asthma attacks since!) As a couple, and then as a fmaily, we’ve been through some hard schmidt, and there’ve been times when I’ve wondered how we could keep going. I remember when I was engaged that a wise friend, Rebecca, said to me “there will be times when you can’t stand each other. And that’s why you need your friends – to remind you of the wedding day and the commitment you made to each other. Because it’s easy to be commited in the good times” I’d thought she was wrong – we would never have times like that. Of course we have – from the big major things to the nitty gritty of annoying snoring (me), obsessive tidyness (not me!) and morning grumpiness (both of us!)
I think though, I love Sam more now than I did on my wedding day – and that, cliche as it is, our love really does grow as time goes on. It’s that love that bears with the snoring and the caffeine deprivation and the money woes and family worries – and that’s the love that’s real. It’s the active love – not lovwe when it’s all beautiful and romantic and easy, but when it’s a slog, and you don’t really want to, but you do anyway. Love as a verb, not a noun. Love as an active choice. A lot of the time, it is really easy – I’m married to my best friend, and I love it. But when it isn’t, and we still choose to love – that’s the real, gutsy stuff that makes a marriage.
So, darling husband, here’s to you. I love you so much. I could make a list – and, stuff it, it’s my blog, I will. You’re hilarious, clever, gentle, kind, strong, snarky, silly – and wonderful. You’re a great husband and a fabulous father. One of the highlights of my day is to watch Isaac at dinner time, as he constantly looks towards the door in anticipation of you – and when you walk in, he starts boncing and flapping with a massive smile on his face. He loves you so much – and belive me, so do I.